Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Yes, I am on vacation down the Oregon coast and I really have to say that I am totally jealous. Down here on the beach you can drink alcohol, have bonfires, and bring your dog. None of these things can I do on the beaches back home? Not that I can legally drink down here, being almost 20, but I'm already thinking about the road trip possiblities next year. We had one day of nice sunny weather on Sunday but since then it had been mostly cloudy, but it warm all the same. The waves here are so incredible, I'm surprised I haven't seen more surfers.

The only thing that I would change about this trip is I wish that I had someone here to share it with. I keep changing my mind about being single. There are times when I'm glad that I am single and I like the freedom of talking to who I want to and making plans without having to worry about someone else, but at the same time it gets lonely. I've signed up on a few dating sites and I've been talking to a few guys but so far, nothing serious or even casual. I keep having dreams where I'm with a guy and when I wake up, I miss it so.

I can be parient and I know that I'm not going to be alone forever. I don't need a partner to feel whole as I am content being on my own but there are things that are best done in pairs...

Saturday, July 24, 2010

And the winner is....

Congrats to Aylilth for winning the Biggest Loser Family Cookbook that I am giving away to celebrate dropping 18 lbs and getting my own first weight loss reward, a Biggest Loser Cookbook! Thanks to everyone who entered. Aylilth, please email me your contact info to so I can have it shipped out to you (all the way to the land down under!).

I am currently in Seaside, Oregon, enjoying the sights and sounds of the beach. My family and I got down here a few hours ago and we're renting a cottage, so we just finished grocery shopping and we're getting ready to have dinner (Turkey breast and salad). Hope everyone is having a great Saturday and that your weekend endevours are successful!

Much Love~

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Last Chance!!

Just a reminder that as of RIGHT NOW you have exactly 24 hours to enter for your chance to win a Biggest Loser Family Cookbook, courtesy of me. I will ship the book out free of charge to the winner and ANYONE is eligible to enter. For full details, check out the OFFICIAL ENTRY POST HERE and leave a comment for your chance to have up to 4 entries in this giveaway.

Cut off is 9PM PST Friday the 23 rd so be sure to get your entries in ASAP!

This is my first giveaway to celebrate dropping below 220 lbs and losing 18 lbs, so I really want to give this away to a lucky follower, get in your entry tonight!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Weigh In #11 and Weighing In...

Where has the time gone my lovelies? Week 11 already with only 5 weeks left! I've met some fabulous new bloggers in this time and I love each and every one of them!

Last week: 219.0 lbs
This week: 219.9 lbs
Difference: +0.9 lbs
Exercise: 130 mins

A gain, as to be expected. I'm not going to dwell on it, I did some stupid things this past week (food wise) and I haven't been getting in the time at the gym like I would have liked.

Now brace yourselves, I did something on Sunday that NO WOMAN should ever have to do. None of us look forward to it. In fact, it is probably the easiest way to dock 10 points of your self-esteem in less than 5 seconds. I'm sure even the skinny ladies aren't a fan of this, let alone me, weighing in at almost 220 lbs! That's right, it's that time of the year....

Swimsuit shopping

So because I'm going down to Oregon for a week to enjoy the beaches and summer sun (knock on wood for nice weather!), I thought that I should go down and get a swimsuit, as I don't own swimming bottoms. As a personal challenge to myself, I wanted to try and find bikini bottoms, not board shorts or those skirt-y things. In a manner of speaking, I succeeded and found myself a pair that fit but it was shockingly difficult! You would think that because it is the middle of July that there would be LOTS of swimming stuff around. WRONG! All the department stores are now prepping for the fall and all the bathing suits have been moved to clearance and can now only be found in horrible patterns and XS sizes. I went to Wal-Mart and found nothing. Sears and The Bay, nothing. SwimCo had nothing that interested me for less than $200. A few things crossed my mind in the dressing rooms:
  • Am I supposed to look like a beached whale?
  • Oh, God! What is that bright white thing that reflects all light? Oh, it's the back of my thigh.
  • If it's uncomfortable around your knees, don't force it any further. The result will NOT be attractive.
  • I'm going to slaughter the person that said "One more drink won't hurt" last weekend.
  • I wonder why burqas never caught on as beachwear?
  • Somewhere, a fashion designer is laughing at all the poor souls who though they could pull off this cut.
 I finally found something at this store called Aqua, the swimwear branch of La Vie en Rose, and dropped $60. I followed the "rules". Dark bottoms with a bright colour/print top to draw the eye away up and away from the hips. Here is what I came up with:

And if I get REAL DARING, there is this option too. I bought the top two summers ago:

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

All These Things That I Have Done

Well, a good friend of mine got a job as a radio DJ in Manitoba. She found out on Thursday and left yesterday. She is so unbelievably happy, this is what she has wanted to do for a long time, we gave her a send-off that lasted all weekend long. This epic send-off resulted in a lot of drinking, pub food, and calorie laden hang-over remedies. I feel so ill and bloated from it all and it's Tuesday!

Today I worked out with Nathan, my trainer, and I did a lot of leg stuff with cardio. We tend to split the work-outs into two groups: legs with cardio and arms with cardio, with core exercises thrown in a bit on both days. Last Wednesday when I saw Nathan, I did this new exercise where I grab a weight bench so that it is vertical to my body and jump over it whilst holding on to the bench. You may have seen this done on the Biggest Loser. Well, after so many reps I got pretty tired and then I wasn't jumping as high as I should have been (jumping is very difficult for me). Well then wouldn't you know it, on several occasions I bashed my shin into this bench resulting in a big monster bruise. I wish I had taken a photo of it on Thursday but alas, I only thought to today and it's faded. There was even a scrape on the left bruise where I scalped it!

Well, the point of this story is when I saw Nathan today, practically the first thing he says to me is:

Nathan: "What in the hell did you do to your shin?"
I laugh and give him this overly incredulous look.
Me: "You're asking ME what I did to my shin?" (note the inflection and thus inferring that he really did it to my shin).
Nathan: "Well I didn't think that you hit it that bad, I almost feel bad now. Almost, but not quite. I'm not really sympathetic."
Me: "You wouldn't be very good at your job if you were overly sympathetic."
Nathan: "That's very true."

He did call me "muffin" today jokingly, but I tried not to let it get to me too much. So what if I have a huge crush on my trainer?

Saturday, July 17, 2010

A Shout Out...

I was looking through my most recent posts and I felt that something was missing: a big, giant thank you. I want to take a minute to thank each and every one of you wonderful people who read my blog.You mean more to me than I could ever hope to tell you.

To the people who comment, you light up my day. It seriously makes me giddy inside knowing that you read what I wrote and you took the time out to comment on it. Even a little, "I know how you feel" or "Sounds like a fun day" makes me so happy.

To the people who follow silently, don't think that I have forgotten about you! Everyone of you keeps me accountable for my actions. I follow a good chunk of your blogs and reading about your success and being able to share my own with you keeps me focused and motivated. I pray and hope for the day that I can gleefully tell you all that I have reached my goal. If I may be so bold as to say that if I inspire even one of you to get up off your computer chair and get moving on your own journey, all the time and effort spent on this blog, in the gym, researching new foods and learning how bodies process foods, and cooking better things in the kitchen, is worth it. A million times over.

I'm glad that most of the people I follow are still blogging. Recently, someone who I was following abruptly stopped blogging and it actually made me feel really sad that I wouldn't see her daily updates as she was a big inspiration when it came to healthy eating, but for the most part, the weight loss community is strong and growing. Our shared quest to be healthier, fitter, more confident versions of ourselves is gaining momentum and there is nothing that can stop us now.

If you are around and reading the blogs, thinking to yourself wondering if you can do this weight loss thing, I'm going to tell you right now that you can. I'm not going to say that weight loss is easy. It is science. Move more, eat less crap, eat more green and leafy stuff. Calories in should be less than the calories you put out. That is the simple science of weight loss, but the act is so much more complicated than that. It is determination through our bad day and celebration of our good ones. Hopefully there are more good ones than bad ones, and believe you me, I know all about the bad ones. Weight loss is about changing a life time of poor habits and reconditioning ourselves that we are worth every bit of a long, active life.

This was my attempt at a gushy, motivational post. I hoped that I reached my aim. I recently hit my first weight loss milestone, an 18 lbs loss which is more than I lost when I was doing Weight Watchers, and to celebrate I am giving away a Biggest Loser Family Cookbook with great meal ideas that everyone can enjoy. If this is something that you are interested in winning (I'll send it out to the winner absolutely free) check out the official post and leave a comment there!

You're so Versatile!

Before I really get into this post, I want to remind everyone that I am GIVING AWAY ABSOLUTELY FREE A Biggest Loser Cookbook on Friday @ 9pst to celebrate dropping over 18lbs and getting below 220! If you want it, check out the offical post for full details.

 A couple of days ago, Hungry for Living bestowed upon me the honour of the Versatile Blogger award! I was really super pleased until I saw the conditions for accepting the award, as they are as follows:

  1. Thank the person who gave you the award
  2. Tell 7 things about yourself
  3. Nominate 15 NEW bloggers for the award and pass it on to them
  4. Notify said bloggers that they have received the award.
It was the second condition that hooped me, buuuut I found a loop hole! I don't have to come up with new stuff so I'm going to do some recycling. It is good for the environment after all. Here are 10 things about me from an older post!

1. I’m a super nerd. Every summer I read the Harry Potter series again for the billionth time. And the Twilight series. Oh yeah, and I play World of Warcraft.

2. I have 5 big squishy pillows on my bed but I only use one of them, and it’s always the same one, but I would hate to get rid of the other 4.

3. I kill potted plants. Not that I do it on purpose, I love having them in my room, they just don’t stay alive for too long. I think that it has something to do with the fact that I forget to water them.

4. When I was little, I loved witchcraft and the fantastical. I even had an Ouija board and I learned how to read Tarot cards. I wanted to be something special and a little more than ordinary, in my own way. I still wish that magic were real, hence my love for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Charmed.

5. I love both the names Isabelle and Wyatt...and then my cousin gave those names to 2 or her children. Not that she knew that I wanted those names for my kids (should I ever have any) or even that I see her or her kids too often, but I’m undecided if I still want to name my kids that because there aren’t really two people in my family with the same names, let alone two sets of siblings.

6. I have a younger brother who is pretty much the only person in my immediate family that has not struggled with his weight at one point or another in his life. He is actually in really good shape. Most people in high school didn’t even know that we were related, we didn’t have an unusual last name to give it away. He is the polar opposite of me. Preppy, popular and all those clichés. If it couldn't fit any better, his girlfriends have all been tall, skinny, blondes.

7. I’ve always thought that my type of guy was the kind of guy who is shy, dark haired, musical, intelligent, and a bit of a rebel. I’ve been with two guys (technically 3, but I don’t count one of them but that is a whole other story) and both of them were blondes, not musical, amd not very intelligent.

8. I have a thing for pretty smelling hand and body creams...and then I never use them. I probably have a dozen or so that are scattered throughout my room and bathroom but I may have used each one of them once, maybe twice.

9. I’m addicted to music. I have a tattoo on my shoulder with music notes. I love all different kinds of music, pretty much anything that has a good rhythm to it, except for rap but even then there are distinctions between different kinds of rap, some that I actually like and some that I can’t even listen to. I’m mainly into modern rock, some mild punk rock and top 40 dance/pop. I love dancing too.

10. I check out girls more than I check out guys. It’s a self-esteem thing, but I can’t help but compare myself to other girls that I see and judge how I compare to them.

Congratulations to the following blogs who I am passing this lovely award on to:

Living Active
Fighting to be Formerly Fat
Watching and Weighting
Enough is Enough
Fitness: A Journey not a Destination

Losing 100 Pounds
Rescuing Lisa
Adjusting Anini
I'm Blossoming
Weighting Around

My Last Weight Loss Ever
Cupcakes to Carrot Sticks
Fat Girl Dives In
*Linzerello's Blog

Thursday, July 15, 2010

My First Giveaway!

Yes, in honour of dropping below 220 and earning myself my first weight loss reward, a Biggest Loser Cookbook, I am doing my very first giveaway.

I picked up a copy of the Biggest Loser Family Cookbook to send off to a lucky follower! I will pick a name out of a draw on FRIDAY JULY 23 at 9 PST (MIDNIGHT EST) so be sure to enter by then. I will send the book out to the winner at no cost to him/her as I will pay the shipping.

Anyone can enter so what do you have to do?! You will get ONE entry for each of the following that you do:
  • Become a follower and leave me a comment. If you are a follower already, leave me a comment so I know that you are still an active member of the weight loss community. When you leave a comment...
    • Tell me about how you incorporate healthy eating into your daily schedule and how you would like to improve your diet.
    • Tell me who your favorite Biggest Loser contestant was, and why?
    • Tell me a joke. I could use a few laughs!
  • On your blog, link back to this giveaway. Please tell me your web address so I can verify.
You could have 4 chances to win in this one and this is a great cookbook with plenty of ideas for the whole family. Good luck to all who enter, you have almost exactly one week before the draw date!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

LHA Weigh In: Are you ready for this?

Good news today in regards to the my LHA challenge, weight loss in general, and blogginess in general (pay attention at the end because it may concern YOU). Let's start with the challenge.

Last Week: 220.8 lbs
This Week: 219.0 lbs
Difference: -1.8 lbs
Exercise Minutes: 120 mins of quality work out

I FINALLY got through the 220 barrier! I was really thinking that I was going to be stuck hanging around the 220.1-220.5 for a while, but I managed to shatter it. The last time I lost weight, I got down to about 212 but then I kind of stopped trying and that was around April/June of last year. On average, I gain about 10 lbs every year and have for as long as I can remember, and when I went for my annual check up at my doctor's office last year in July, I weighed 216. 219 is still a gain of 3 lbs from last year at this time but when I consider that I TOPPED OUT at 238 in January, I've LOST 19lbs! I really hope that I can get down to 218 next week to make it an even 20 lbs deficit!

Right now, I'm at a point that I can't see the different in the mirror, except that my stomach is a little flatter, but the scale is moving. When I first started the LHA challenge, it was the opposite, lots of difference in the mirror and a stubborn scale.

The general good news concerning weight loss is because I have lost my 18 lbs to put me at 220 or below, I get my very first reward! Check it out on the sidebar to the right, I get a Biggest Loser Cookbook! Coincidentally, today is also payday, but I won't get a chance to make it to Chapters tonight as I get paid later and I have to work until 9pm. I'm considering also getting a Jillian Michaels cookbook, such as the Master your Metabolism cookbook, and see what kind of things are in there and if there is a guide of sorts for her weight loss plan. I'm really excited for this as I had not concocted a weight loss reward system prior to this bout of healthiness. (In honour of this, I feel a giveaway coming....stay tuned for details!)

Finally, Hungry for Living gave me the Versatile Blogger award!

The conditions for this award are to thank the person who gave it to you (THANKS A MILLION!), post 7 things about yourself, pass the award on to 15 newly discovered blogs, and to tell the recipients about their new award. When I saw the "post X number of things about yourself", I just about died inside. Why is there not an award to run 3 miles on the treadmill, or give up chocolate for a month? I'll manage to pull some stuff I haven't said out of my brain, but for me the hardest part is going to be choosing 15 NEW blogs (or at least new to me) so here's what I'm going to do.

Do I follow your blog already and you want to be considered for this amazingly adorable award? Comment on this post and say that you want to be considered, don't be shy or humble. If I don't follow your blog, leave me a comment here and tell me to! I'll check you out and you may get an award!
Step on up and tell me about your blog!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I'm Such a Sugar Doll

A few days ago, the marvelous Karen over at Muffin Fixation gave me the Sugar Doll Award. The conditions of accepting the award are as follows:

  1. Link back to the person that gave you the award in your post.
  2. Come up with 10 things that people don't know about you and post them.
  3. Pass the award on to three fellow bloggers.
Because I'm really bad at coming up with randoms things about me that I haven't already said in posts prior to this, I asked you, my lovely followers, to send me emails asking me questions about anything and everything. I really want to thank the 3 people that sent me an email, you had some good questions! (If you replied on my Facebook page, I can't check it right now as I'm at work and my boss has blocked Facebook on the router and I can't check it right now. When I check it later, I will update this post to reflect any questions I got there)

So here we go, 10 things about me.

1. Fat Girl vs. World wants to know how I do my eyebrows because they are "fantastic". I get my eyebrows threaded at a little East Indian place near my house for $3. It's a great deal and they do a pretty good job. I used to have them waxed, and I really think that waxing hurts less, but I would four times as much and threading is actually better for your skin, because the wax will pull at the skin and you can gradually lose the elasticity. So, I get my eyebrows threaded but I pluck the strays in between sessions.

2. Another reader wanted to know what my favorite pair of shoes is right now. I really have to go with my classic Converse's, but in purple. I wear them everywhere, from going out the mall and even to work, but when I exercise I have a pair of New Balance runners with light purple and silver accents that are super comfortable and great to work out in.

3. Aylilth sent me a great question and she wants to know what is my favorite guilty pleasure music, genres that are so bad, they're good, or bands that have a ridiculously catchy song (The way I understand the question is if I told someone that I actually like this stuff they would say "Are you being serious or is this your idea of a joke where I don't get the punch line?"). I have to go with Men at Work, Miley Cyrus (Can't be Tamed, Party in the USA), Boney M, Switch by Will Smith, Fergie à la London Bridge, and Mika (I REALLY love Mika). Some people don't understand why I'm so in love with Michael Bublé either because I'm covered in tattoos and piercings, they would assume I'd rather be at a metal show, but I really don't like metal. I can appreciate rock bands like Nirvana and ACDC too but even then, I'd rather listen to other things.

Those are all the questions I have received so I did come up with a few things that I hadn't shared before and here they are:

4. If I look at something, and I can't figure out how it works, I deem it too difficult and I lose my patience with it. I hate reading manuals so I would much rather figure it out by looking at it. This works with most cell phones, microwaves, and computer programs.

5. When I was in grade 7, the boy I had a crush on played the guitar and so I decided that I was going to learn how to play. I got the guitar that my late grandfather owned, an ancient 12 string, and taught myself how to play with a guitar book and a chord chart.

6. I've coloured my hair a bunch of different colours when I was younger. From about the time I was 14-18 I've had pink, blue, purple, green and red hair in varying shades.

7. I have a dog named Mulder (as in Fox Mulder from the X-Files, my dad was a huge fan) and he is 10 years old. He's a beagle-lab cross and such a suck up. When he wants something, he whines at me and it can be anything from he wants the toilet flushed (not there is anything IN there, he just wants fresh water) so he can drink out of it, or he'll whine at his dish if he's eaten all the food in it because he knows that he'll get more then. After dinner every night, he follows my mom around the house because he knows that it's time for his walk and when she makes lunch for my dad at night, he comes upstairs to watch and mooch for some lunch meat.

8. I also have several 3 fish, just little ones, and two snails in my 15 gallon tank. The snails are super cute. I bought by first snail probably a year ago and the next day she laid eggs. And I mean like over 100. I sold a bunch of them and gave them to my friends two have tanks and I have two left right now. They are bright yellow.

9. Next summer I want to take a cruise to Hawaii, because I want to start traveling more and by then I'll be 21.

10. When I get my tax refund cheque in the mail, I'm going to get a new piercing! I haven't decided what I want to get done yet, but I think that I may get my tongue or my tongue web done....decisions, decisions.

Alright, there you have it! I managed to get out 10 things! Now to pass on the award.

Fat Girl vs. World @ I go through life in inches and pounds

Aylilth @ Making my way to a better me

Lisa Jones @ Jones's Weightloss Journey

Friday, July 9, 2010

Today is the LAST DAY!

Because I got an award the other day and I suck at coming up with 10 random things about myself that I have not already said, I am opening up the lines of communication and I'm giving you all the opporunity to ask me anything you want and I will be totally, 100%, painfully honest. Send me an email with your question(s) to MiaY238@gmail.comor you can comment on this post, asking me ANYTHING, and I mean anything, and I will link back to your blog in tomorrow's post, provided you tell me what your URL is. I have recieved a couple of emails but I would love to get some more questions. Seriously people, help me out and get a few laughs in the process if you ask the right questions!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The HOT Weather is Here

A heat wave has hit Vancouver in a big way. It is so nice and toasty, a solid 25-32 degree Celcius outside this week. I wish I could be out enjoying the sun and tanning but I'm stuck in the mall at my kiosk. I mind at all though, there will be more nice weather coming and I love what I do.

I saw Nathan yesterday and did weights with him, or rather I did weights and he sat and watched me. It was a good work out and I really felt it when I was doing it but today, I don't feel as stiff and sore as I usually do, and I saw Nathan TWO DAYS IN A ROW! I feel like I worked hard but maybe it's just my body adjusting. Maybe my muscles are getting stronger and I don't have to writhe in pain for days after a strenuous work out?

In case you missed it, Karen over at Muffin Fixation honored me with the Sugar Doll award! Because I'm really bad at thinking of random things about me that I haven't already said, I'm opening up the phone lines, in a manner of speaking. Send me an email at with your questions and I will answer all of them on Saturday (so please try to get me your questions before Saturday morning). You could even get them to me on Facebook via my page, [238] and Shrinking. If you're not a fan already, you can sign up while you are there for exclusive content (read: the insignificant and random things I say that have nothing to do with weight loss or exercise)! You can ask me anything you like, and I promise to be 100% honest; it doesn't have to be even remotely blog/health/weight loss related.

As a little incentive to participate in this instead of just seeing the answers come out on Saturday, I will link back to your blog in the post, provided that you tell me what your blog is! Taddaa!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

LHA Weigh In and A Blog Award

First down to business. I weighed in this morning for my Long HOT Active Summer Challenge, we are in week 9 of a 16 week challenge, but before I reveal the result, I would like to share a quick run down of my week, or at least the past 5 days or so. I went out Saturday and Sunday night this past weekend, getting totally sloshed each night. Monday, all I had to eat was Mcdonald's to cure the wicked tequila hang over. I saw Nathan twice, once on Thursday and once yesterday, but other than that, I did not go to the gym because of my hectic schedule. My water intake has been the pits, but I haven't been paying attention to sodium so I expected to feel pretty gross. I haven't tracked any food for about 2 weeks, I don't even know where my food journal went. It may be hiding under the bed in rejection.

Journal:"You used to take me everywhere with you. I know you're out parading around with some skinnier, fancier journal, but the least you could do was tell me and I would move on!"  
 ME: "No, I swear it's not like that, I swear! I just need some space, it's not you, it's me."

But I digress...

Last week's weight: 222.8 lbs
This week's weight 220.5 lbs
Difference: -1.7lbs
Exercise minutes: 120

If I found the answer to weight loss in fatty food and rum, I'm going to be a freaking millionaire! LOL. I don't know how it happened really, but I'm happy with my numbers. My body fat, according to my scale, is down as well to 37.6% (I started around 40%). I'm half a pound away from my first weight loss reward, a Biggest Loser Cookbook. When I first got on my scale it said 219.5 and I was so happy but when I did it properly, entered my password so it had all my information to calculate my BMI, body fat% and whatnot, it read 220.5 after several attempts to get it back to 219, but that will be next week!

In other news, the lovely and marvelous Karen over at Muffin Fixation bestowed upon me the Sugar Doll award. It's so freaking pretty!

It is one of those awards where I have to tell you all 10 things about me that you don't know and I am crap at thinking of this stuff. I have two in mind, but here is what I'm going to do. From now until Friday night at 9pm PST, send me an email at asking me a question that you want to know the answer to. Anything and everything, it doesn't have to be remotely blog related. Want to know if I have pets or if I had crazy coloured hair as a teenager? Ask away my lovelies and I will post a full award post on Saturday when I'm at work.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

So that was something I never did before...

I went out last night with one of my new co-workers and a bunch of her friends (this isn't the thing that I hadn't done before, but my brother was surprised that I made a new friend so quickly) and we went out to this club in Vancouver. I spend the afternoon before this shopping for some new clothes to wear and I bought a short jean skirt from Old Navy and a top from Addition Elle. I have been to clubs before, but I had never been to this one so I didn't really know what to expect or what the scene was going to be like.

About 12 or so of us showed up around 11pm and there was a band just finishing their set, but we came to see this DJ who started close to midnight. Well, most of us got split up, I tried to stay with someone that I knew because I didn't want to be dancing on my own and I was drunk as a skunk. So there I was on the dance floor with one of the girls that I just met and we were having a pretty good time, (and this is the thing that has NEVER happened to me before) and guys actually came up and started dancing with us. It was practicially surreal to me. I danced with one guy for a while and then went and got another drink and when I got back on the floor with a few other people that I had just met, there was another guy that started dancing with me! And he was actually pretty cute (I think, but I'm not sure, everything was a bit hazy and the club was dark). But here I am, in totally uncharted territory and I don't know how to act and after the other girls that I was with went somewhere else, I went off in search of my friend from work and she was in the back corner totally making out with this guy who was wearing a touque of all things in July, in a hot and sweaty dance club!

I went back out on to the dance floor and found the first guy that was dancing with me and we started dancing together again, but then wouldn't you know it, we started, like, kissing and making out. I haven't said one word to this guy, we were just dancing, I don't even know his name, and we were all making out and such. I don't even know what compelled me to kiss him back. When I'm drinking, I feel more or less in control of my decisions, everything is just blurry and my balance is a little off. I knew that it was a stupid idea and totally out of character for me, but I did it anyways. The whole night, really, was a new experience. I've never had random guys pay any attention to me, but I had guys tell me that I'm hot and I had guys want to be close to me. Most of them were very likely inhibriated in some variety and in varying degrees, but I've never really felt like that in a public setting. I'm still trying to sort through all these new feelings and thoughts, it's a little overwhelming.