Someone was saying how she doesn't weigh herself too often because she is heavier than she looks, and like Kenz, sees that weight is only part of the puzzle. I struggled with this my whole life because I never really paid much attention to what I weighed. I looked in the mirror and saw that I was
When I was younger, maybe 6 years old or so, whenever me and my mom went shopping for new clothes and I bought jeans, she would do the mom thing and pull the waist band to make sure it wasn't too tight and she would say "Good, there is room to grow". I understand her rationale because what parent wants to keep buying clothes for her kids when they grow out of them in a few months? I remember when I was about 11-12 and I was trying on jeans and I did the same thing, but when I said the same thing she had said countless times over, her response was "You don't really want to keep growing any more". I wasn't hurt, I was just confused. Wasn't I still a growing girl? Did this mean I wasn't going to get any taller or that I was going to lose weight?
I took some pictures of myself the other day to post in my 1000 Words in Pictures section (currently under development). I got myself all pretty, doing my hair and make-up and what not and took some profile shots and then I got the mini camera stand out so I could take some full body shots. I thought that I looked pretty good that day but when I looked at the pictures on my computer all I saw was my stomach sticking out in ways that I'm sure I've never seen, my hips looking like a tire around my body and lots of double chin. It effectively zapped my self confidence for the day and I never posted the pictures. It was shocking to see the difference in the pictures and what I see in the mirror. I thought that I was becoming more aware of my body but now I wonder if I was only deluding myself further.
Maybe one day I'll get around to posting the pictures I took, when I weigh 25 lbs less or so. I'll be able to say that those are pictures of the girl I was and this is the girl I am now, but right now I'd rather think of myself as the girl I see in the mirror.