Friday, April 30, 2010

Music Giveaway!

Not me, I'm poor, but Lindsay over at Healthy Stride is giving away a $15 itunes card to spend on music you can listen to on your exercising endevours. Just comment on what your fave tunes are when you're working out! Personally, I LOVE Mika's Big Girl (You are Beautiful), I had previously dedicated a short blog post to this song, and Pussycat Dolls' "Wait a Minute" because it is totally spunky.

Not only is Lindsay hosting this wonderful giveaway, she has also lost over 100 lbs in her weight loss journey and is training for a half-marathon. She has a lovely blog and you can check out her before and after pictures on her blog.
Signing out for now, I work from 2pm until 8pm tonight, so it is safe to expect another blog post in those PST hours!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

My Long Hot Active Summer Challenge

So while I was blog hopping (it's a little like playing frogger but you won't get squished at the end and your reward is discovering new and exciting blogs) I came across something that I am really looking forward to and I'm getting into just in time. It is called "My Long Hot Active Summer Challenge" (no, really? Yes). Courtesy of Christine at Exquisite_Christine's Eclectic Weight Loss and Lisa at Jones' Weightloss Journey, they have put together this fabulous challenge that I will be participating in from May 5th all the way until August 25th. This is the first challenge that I will be participating in as a member of the blogging community, so I am totally stoked for this.

So here is the skinny on the challenge (pun intended).
  • Weigh yourself in May 5th and take a picture of your feet on the scale displaying your starting weight. Same day, take at least 1 current full body picture of yourself and post it on your blog as a "before"| photo.
  • Weigh in days are every Wednesday (you only have to take a photo on the first weigh in and the last weigh in, if you want to do one every week for your blog, all the power to you)
  • August 25th, take a picture of your feet on your scale as it displays your final challenge weight. Take a full body photo of yourself and post is as your "after" challenge photo for comparison's sake.
  • For the rest of the weigh in guidelines, check it out on the challenge blog.
  • Make sure to document the number of minutes you worked out in the week as well.
  • For the rest of the challenge rules check it out here.
Does this sound like something you want to get involved it during the dreaded bikini season? If you have a healthy level of competition in you, on par with your satisfaction of seeing yourself and others reach their healthy goals, sign up here. If you're looking for a push to get your butt in gear and do it with other like-minded individuals, sign up. You may even like it. It starts MAY 5TH so stop thinking about "Maybe, yeah I guess I could do it" and just do it! Like I said, I'm excited. Can you tell?


That is what I say on the scale this morning staring back at me and I was totally incredulous. I actually stepped on the scale a second time because I was 100% positive that it was wrong. It just couldn't be right. It couldn't be, but there it was flashing at me, 225.9 lbs. It just came as such a shock to me because Tuesday was a bit of a low point as I wasn't really losing any weight.

Not only am I happy that I'm losing weight again, it also makes me feel like I'm more in touch with my body. It was very likely water weight, but for the last few days I have felt really bloated and today I feel less bloated. For me, learning what my body needs is more important in the long run because it is going to set me up for long term success.

I saw Nathan, my personal trainer, yesterday too and we did cardio conditioning again. There was another trainer with us as well, she was shadowing him because it was a slow day or something, but half-way through she went to do something else but I didn't mind. I didn't know her story and skinny people intimidate me (LOL)! My glutes and my hamstrings are hurting today because a lot of what we did was leg exercises with mucho up/down movements. Whenever I got to stop for a drink and try to stop my eyes from popping out of my skull due to an intense heart rate, he would bring me my water bottle and even pop the cap open for me. Now who's training who! At one point he told me to finish off the little water I had left in my bottle and he would go fill it up for me. I tried to finish it in two drinks but on the second sip, I took too much and then had to cover my mouth with my hand to stop myself from becoming a water fountain all over the floor. And then he just laughed at me. I don't blame him, it was pretty funny.

Today's plan is walking. I'm going to take the dog out for a walk and then walk up a few blocks and meet a friend for lunch and then go over to Fitness World, do some cardio, and then walk home. I live pretty close to the gym, it only takes me 10-15 minutes (15 if I walk at a turtle pace) to walk there. And on the very happy plus side, my last final exam is tonight at 7pm in Vancouver. Hurray!! Hope everyone has a fantastic day and that things go your way!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Busy and Slightly Defeated

Yesterday was so busy driving all around and going to appointments, work and then ending up at the gym at 9pm. Today I just want to relax but I know that I still have stuff to do. This morning, I am going to Wal-Mart to buy some new exercise clothes. I need new pants because my other pairs all have holes in the inner thigh, or in the butt seam, and a pair has both sets of holes. I would also like to find a nice work-out shirt too and a new sport bra. Next, I'm going to S.B.G. to use said exercize gear and work up a good sweat. Then when I get home, I'm going to be taking my dog out for a good walk and get ready for the evening because an all new episode of Glee is on and Biggest Loser! My two favorite shows and now they are on at the same time on the same day. Thankfully, I have a satellite dish that gets the Eastern channels so I can watch one of them 3 hours early.

My weight is really bugging me because I'll think that I'm making progress and that my eating is on track and I'm working hard, but my weight keeps creeping back up and it's not like my body fat percentage is not really dropping either. I'm going to my cousin's wedding on May long weekend and I'm going to be seeing family that I don't normally see and some that I haven't seen in a year or so, I would like to look like I have made significant progress to meeting my goal. When Nathan asked me a short term goal that I would like to make for myself, I said that I would like to be around 210 lbs for this wedding and I'm no where close to that. Today my weight was at 229.9 lbs and it keeps going up, even though I'm not stuffing my face with crap and I'm really working out hard when I go to the gym. I just wish that I knew why. I think that it may have something to do with my period because I'm starting to feel really bloated. At least now I'm more in tune with my body and what it wants. Before I couldn't really tell if I felt bloated because from all the sodium and junk food I was eating, I always felt bloated.

All is not lost. I will continue working on it, I have to succeed eventually right?

Monday, April 26, 2010

Friday, April 23, 2010

Changes, Big and Small

I'm back, for how long I don't know yet. I have one final exam on Thurday the 29th and then I will really be free! FREEDOM!! On the weight loss front, I have some good news! I haven't lost a whole lot of weight, but I had new measurements done today.

Bust: 44.25'' (-.25")
Waist: 39" (0)
Abdomen: 47.75" (-1.0")
Hips: 51" (-1.25")
Thigh: 30" (0)
Arm: 14" (-1.0")

I'm happy that even if I'm not losing weight, I'm losing inches because I and only a handful of people (Pat at work, Nathan, my mom) know exactly what I weigh, but EVERYONE can see what I look like and the difference in inches. I would much rather weigh more but have it look better and more toned. My brother's girlfriend is 5'2'' and weighs about 120 lbs and she wants to lose 10 lbs. Personally, I think that that would make her too skinny and that she should focus more on toning what she has and making it look better than thinking that she has to lose weight.

I'm really enjoying my work with Nathan. We're starting a new program that is more like a cardio bootcamp idea, so lots of jumping and steps with ball cruches, push-ups and other kinesthetic activities thrown in for good measure. We did that for the first time last night and I'm so sore today.

Lots has been changing in my life lately. Big changes over a short period of time. Me and my boyfriend of 5 years, Ian, have broken up. We were both just so tired of ripping each other's throats out on a daily basis and we decided that how ever much we force it to work, it's just not. I'm terrified, excited, nervous, depressed, yet relieved all at the same time. I'm nervous because I have not been single, ever, in my adult life (18+). Being 15 and in a relationship and then finding myself at 19, almost 20, single is a hard concept to grasp when I've spend 25% of my life with this person. I don't know who I am when I'm not dependent on someone else, or rather, when I don't have someone who is dependent on me. I think the reason I tried to stay with him for so long, not only because it was nice and familiar, was because I'm terrified that I'm not going to find someone else. All the guys I know are dating other people and my friend Paige from UBC, was recently broken up with, she has been asked out four or five times by different guys within the last 3 weeks. Guys don't even talk to me, let alone show any romantic interest in me.

This leads me to another of the big changes in my life. My weight loss. It feels like I keep losing the same 2 lbs over and over again for the last 3 months and then I fall off the bandwagon and binge. When I was out with my friends a few weeks ago, we drank a lot and ate things that come in plastic bags with ingredients you need a masters degree in chemisty to know how to pronouce. I think that my hesitation with the opposite sex is very much rooted in my insecurities of my body, but the issue I'm having is that I don't know how to be a fit person. Growing up, I watched my dad fall into the habit of gaining weight and just watching more pile on. I'm not as disciplined as I would like to be, like my mom. I wish that it just came effortlessly, but it just doesn't. I really think that if I were in better shape that I would be more confident and feel less desperate about becoming an old cat-lady but my bad habits are comfortable. My bed is nice and warm in the morning and I would rather be there or playing on the computer than going out to the gym. Junk food is tasty and I like the salty taste of Cheese Puffs with a few coolers! I don't know anything else than what it feels like to be fat and it's comfortable. I've heard of people who have lost a significant amount of weight and they say how great it feels to be fit and they have so much more energy now, but I don't know what fit feels like and it's hard to motivate myself to feel a certain way when I don't know what is it store once I get there. Maybe if I were in good shape when I was younger and then gained a lot of weight, I would feel really motivated to get back to what I used to weigh and feel better about myself, but I've never felt that way.

I was talking to Nathan about this last night and he said that he didn't really understand what I meant by "I don't know how to be a fit person". He pretty much has the same background as me, with the weight gaining and the parent things, his mom did Atkins and lost over 100lbs and then gained most back because of underlying health conditions, but he couldn't understand what I meant. He told me to find someone that weighed around my goal weight and height and that I should envision myself looking like them, except that the person would be me. And I can't even do that yet. I wish that I did. I imagine what it would be like to be thin and fit, but I can't make the image in my head look like me, because I'm not thin and fit, and never have been. I like that he has been through the weight loss thing and come out the other side, with the before and after shots to prove it. He went through this journey within the last year or two and he's only a little older than me, or that gives me some hope that I can accomplish this.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Blogging Hiatus

 So because finals are just around the corner for me, I really have to put my nose to the grindstone. I know, it sucks, but my blogging is going to be on an extended break until May because of term papers and finals. Please don't miss me too much! Before I leave, I'll give you a few snippets about my week thus far and plans for next week.

Yesterday, I was at SBG working with Nathan, who as a matter of fact, keeps getting cuter every time I see him! Unfortunately, I didn't get the greatest work-out, not because of the cuteness, but because half-way through I started to feel really stomach sick, so maybe I had not eaten enough before going. Instead of doing 3 sets we finished off by doing the rest of the work-out in 2 sets. I'm sure feeling my work-out today though! Oh my. Last night I felt fine but this morning everything is sore, especially my hamstring and my triceps.If I had to pick which muscles hurt the most, I would choose those two. I'm really happy to be back at it. I'm starting to notice small changes in my body, my stomach is a little flatter, my waist is smaller. Good changes. I have more energy too, at least a little bit.

My plan for next week is to study lots. I'm hoping to get in lots of cardio and I can take my text books with me and read them while I am on the treadmill. I have three exams this week, two of them are at 7 o'clock at night and they are 2.5 hour exams!! Craziness for we commuter students, but I'll live. It gives me the whole day to get ready for that exam. I was hoping to get a little bit more free time at work, but I have a few appointments to get to today, 4 people coming in for work-outs. I don't know that I could show them the machines, my body feels like it's going to fall apart! Other than that, I need to get my eating on track again. Maybe when I don't have anything to worry about, school-wise, I can start to focus on that a bit more. I need to revamp my meal plan because they just wanted to me to eat WAY too much food. I understand the concept of eating often to keep the metabolism going so that it's always burning, but when I'm still full from the last meal and in order to eat 5 meals in my day, I have to eat more again, that doesn't really work for me. I gained 5 lbs which is really counter productive! My problem with food is not that I overeat to the point that I'm bursting at the seams but that I don't eat enough and when I do eat, I eat the wrong things (not enough protein, too many carbs, etc). My plan as far as eating goes is to follow my meal plan but cut back on the portions, possibly going back to Weight Watchers and eating what it wants me to, while keeping my points in check.

I have lots planned that I know I need to get in check and work on, so I really hope that I can follow through I know that I can do this.

Monday, April 12, 2010

The Official Weight

OK! No more changing my mind. I have my brand-spanking new scale and the official ticker weight is 229.9 lbs as of this morning. I really did like my other scale that said I was 224 and on some days 218, but alas, I will get there for real! I knew that those numbers could not be right but I wanted to weigh myself in the mornings and that would mean that the Curves scale would not be accessible.

Today's plan is a busy one. I have classes until 7:30 tonight, starting at noon. After I'm going to the Skinny Bitch Gym (a.k.a. Fitness World) because my exercise has been lacking lately and I need to get back into the swing of it! My brother has gone to Whistler to work for a week so that means I get to drive his car to school! I won't have to spend 2 hours on the bus to Vancouver, it would only take me 20-30 minutes to drive, thus giving me a lot more time to pack my meals and get ready for school in the mornings. I'm looking forward to that.

Hope you all have a great day with whatever you are all doing!

Friday, April 9, 2010

A whole new way to SCALE my excitement!

I cracked. I went out and I bought a new scale. It's very pretty. Now I just have to find a way to make mine say the same thing...
It has a 4 person memory and tracks your weight change and it can measure body fat as well, which is why I got it. I also like that it measures in 0.1 lbs increments whereas the scale that I originally had only did 0.5 increments and being 20 years old, was more than a few pounds off. I'm excited to be using a scale that I know is accurate. I know that a lot of people say that it's not so much about the variance in multiple scales, but that you should pick one scale and stick with it. The problem with that in my head is that I know the scale at Curves is heavy and I know that the old scale at home is light, so I may dismiss these numbers because what is the point, it's wrong anyways?

Today has not been one of my great days. I ate breakfast this morning but I had a phone interview around 10am so that threw off my morning routine and I didn't get my lunch packed and I was running late so I couldn't even get lunch when I got on campus because I was running late for class. I couldn't stop and get food after class because then I had to run back to the bus exchange and start the commute home because I had to work early this evening (I'm currently at work). So I really haven't eaten anything since around 9am. I know, bad, bad, very bad, and right now I wish that I had taken more time to get my lunch together last night instead of waiting until the last minute, but what's done is done.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Into the Home Stretch

Hey all. I just got the email this morning from Weight Loss Bloggers that my blog is going to be featured in their directory, so if you are joining me from there this morning, welcome! I’m very happy to be a part of their network and have the opportunity to talk to new people. I would love to get to know my followers, so send me off an email with any comments, considerations, and questions to I promise that I will answer all your emails, if not immediately, within a week.

Today feels like a bit of a blah day. I woke up and the rain was POUNDING on the roof and I almost decided that I was not going to get out of bed. I have 5 days of classes left. 5 little days until freedom! In case anyone notices, I’m putting my blog through a few minor changes for example, my ticker at the head of the page. I still haven’t decided what weight I am going to use for it, either my weight on the scale at home (which is soooo much nicer to me) or the one at Curves (which I think is more accurate but I don’t have the luxury of weighing myself every morning in the nude!). I think that I will be using the scale at home. It’s more or less accurate...just 5 lbs lighter! But I like the idea of using the scale in my bathroom because it is always there. I am thinking about buying a new scale too, that does fancy stuff like body fat and such but that is a whole other can of metaphorical worms.

Another change coming to the blog name. Whenever I have to use a name for something on the internet, I use Sarina Taksmin, or Sarina Jackson. When I started this blog, I initially liked the idea of anonymity but I feel that with all the emotions that float around blogs and the fact the fact that I can tell perfect strangers about my trials and triumphs, I could at least use my real name. Something that really struck a chord with me about this was after I had left a comment on another blog and the writer responded to me in a very heartfelt manner and called me Sarina. In a way I feel that I am betraying not only my readers, but the people that I read. We put ourselves out on the line, but in a sense, it’s not really us, or not really me, if you catch my drift. I know that not everyone will understand and it’s not really a big deal either way, but for some it could be important. I want to help people succeed in reaching their goals and maybe get a bit of that inspiration back in return. My real name is Emilia. I’ve always been drawn to the name Sarina, I think that it’s because I had a certain affinity towards Sabrina the Teenage Witch, though. I’ve always loved spells and fantasy, so the name took root in my back when I was around the age of 5 or 6. It’s been with me a long time.

Those are really the only two changes that I’m going to be making. They are very minute changes, so don’t anyone panic! Today the grand plan in terms of my diet and exercise is to go to Curves and Fitness World after school. Yesterday I went to Curves with Bailey and sat in the sauna for 30 minutes or so but then after I got out of the sauna I was so relaxed and sweaty that I didn’t want to go to Fitness World after. Because I missed my work out with Nathan last week, I have to call him soon and schedule another time with him. Tonight I am going to

• Curves with Bailey

• Home, to eat dinner

• And finally, to Fitness World to do my weights work out with 45 minutes of cardio, either on the treadmill or on the elliptical.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Back in the Game

I'm starting to feel like I'm getting back in the game after being sick. I went to Curves yesterday with Bailey and we worked out for a while, but everything was so difficult. I didn't realise how tired I was from being sick for a week and how weak my muscles have become. I'm hoping that if I spend some time working out this week they will start to feel like they did before I came down with a cold. I didn't think that I would miss going to the gym as much as I did either. I really didn't like being immobile and lazy. I missed my work-outs and my trainer Nathan. I missed all the skinny bitches at the gym (well, okay not really all that much, but still). I missed having that dull ache in my muscles that told me that I did a good job, and that I'm making progress. A week ago a just about laughed out loud when I put my hands on my hips and felt that my waist was smaller! Now, from all the laying around I've been doing and the fact that I have been paying less and less attention to my meal plan, I feel bloated and heavy.

I was catching up on my blogs today and I came across a new post that I could really relate with. Zaababy has made fantastic progress in her weight loss journey, check out her before and after pics here, but that is not what caught my attention. What brought me in most was when she was comparing her results with someone in her neighbourhood that had a lap-band surgury. Zaababy has lost 90 lbs and is still going, in comparision with this other individual that is experiencing a stall and has not lost as much as her. Zaa was uncomfortable talking with this other person that she has not seen in a while because of how the other would take the situation. This whole thing kind of reminded me about the situation that myself and my friend Bailey are in. She works out a lot harder than I do and she has lost weight, but since she joined  Curves with me, she has gone from around 275 to 269 lbs in 5 months. We're doing this journey together and I wish that she would see better results because I feel guilty bringing up how much weight that I have lost, not that I have lost a lot of weight either though. I want to be able to tell her about the progress I'm making and that my old jeans fit again, but she tells me that hers just feel tighter, so I try and stay quiet. I wish that I could celebrate these things by teller her but I would feel bad about putting it in her face. She tells me that she eats well so I don't understand why she isn't seeing better results, I don't think that she would lie to me about what she is eating.

Speaking of food, this week I'm going back on my meal plan with a few variations. I'm not going to be eating as much food as it wants me too, there is no way that I can eat 6 oz of turkey for lunch or 8 oz of tofu in a salad, it was just way too much. This morning I had a cup of plain yogurt mixed with rasberry yogurt (I didn't have enough plain), 2 cups 1% milk and a small handful of mixed nuts. I felt like I was eating for an hour and I don't have that much time to eat in the mornings. Here is the plan as far as my meals go:
  • I'm going to eat the foods it tells me to
  • BUT I will each smaller portions
I found that I just wasn't hungry at all, and at times I was still full from the last meal and my plan still wanted me to eat more food. Back beast, back! So that is my plan for this week. Today for lunch, I didn't pack anything so I went to the salad bar in the cafe for lunch instead of to Subway and I got a spinich salad with cucumber, carrots, mushrooms, tomatoes, tuna and olives and I drizzled a bit of rasberry dressing on top. It was alright and I covered my carbs, protein and fat all in one dish. I also got a tall non-fat chai tea latte from Starbucks which was amazing! I ate until I was satisfied and then I put the rest away. Horay for food management!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Down with the Sickness

Ever since Tuesday, I've felt like I've been dying slowly. I came down with some kind of cold that has been circling over my house like a vulture. It picked off my grandma, my brother, my dad, my mom, and then finally me. It got what it came for.

For four days, I've been coughing, I've had achy muscles and a plugged nose. Today is the fifth day of my sickness and I still have the sore throat and congestion to contend with but I think that today is going to be the last day. I'm at work right now, but I'm staying far away from everyone and sitting behind the front desk! Tonight me and a few friends did have plans to go out to a casino out in Vancouver and I really hope that I'll at least sounds better. I sound like death warmed over but I feel much better now.

This week I've really found that I'm missed my workouts. I had to call Nathan Wednesday and cancel my appointment with him because I didn't want to go in and not get the most out of my work out. I'm starting to realize how tired I am when I don't work out, and I'm really looking forward to getting back to it.