Monday, March 8, 2010

When reality hits, hit back!

Okay, so I have developed an addiction to TLC. While watching "What Not to Wear" the other day, I realized that I had developed a lot of the same habits as the girl they were analyzing on the show. Soooooo not a good thing. The issue that has developed is that I am always wearing yoga/exercise pants like the girl on the show. They are just so gosh darn comfortable! I do own other pants; I have a few pairs of jeans which I bought in September before school started again, a pair of olive khakis (they look better than that description sounds lol), a pair of dress pants that escaped to my boyfriends house (I have no idea how they got there...) and a few other pants that are not of the spandex variety.

So one night I was out of exercise pants, they were all in the laundry, and I was going to Wal-Mart so I was planning on putting one of my pairs of jeans on, no big deal, and then I can head out. Guess what happened next? I would love to tell you all that I buttoned them up and found I could shimmy out of them, but... I was devestated. I could get them done up but they were tight, and by tight I mean that I had to lay back on my bed and use all the strength I had to get them buttoned. Standing up I looked in the mirror (BIG mistake) and I had the biggest muffin top known to womankind. I was so crushed I didn't know what to do. My boyfriend was watching the show and laughed to himself about the cliche of women changing their clothing four or five times before going out but because I felt like worst kind of excrement I got really upset with him for laughing at me (which I shouldn't have done). I bought these jeans not too too long ago at Old Navy and they are a size 18.

All of this made me realize that I really need to get my eating in check. I can work-out to the point of collapse but if I come home and eat all the calories back, I'm not really in a better place than I was. I feel so disappointed in myself because I had lost weight and then I got lazy and I gained it back, along with a few of its new friends. According to my scale at work, I weigh 237.5lbs but at home I weigh 228.5lbs (as of yesterday) so that is the most I have known myself to weigh.

What else can I do but fight back now? Me and a girlfriend went out shopping yesterday and I bought a new pair of jeans, that fit. They are a size 23, but now that I've been wearing them around campus today, I've learned that I probably could have gotten away with a 21, but I haven't washed them yet so they just might shrink a little. I'm still upset with myself, but at least I'm not that girl that lives in yoga pants and now I have something that is comfortable for me to wear and gives me feedback as to whether or not I have lost weight.

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