Hello cybersphere! I can't believe that it's December already! Where did the year go? Soon Christmas will be here and all that wonderful food...Oh my stomach started rumbling as I typed that! LOL
So while trolling a few pro ana sites, I came across some interesting rules and guidlines. They included sayings like:
"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."
"Every time you say no to food, you say yes to thin."
"Being thin is more important than everything!"
While reading these late last night, I admit that I was not in a good place. I felt as if the whole world was crumbling around me and I was tired of being a failure. After reading this, I actually felt a little better, which is actually amazing. The brain washing in our culture is mind blowing. Some of these girls that follow these as if they were a mantra are in a dangerous place, emotionally and physically. I know that I am in a better place and I won't get sucked into believing these things. I know that people can be beautiful regardless of their weight or size.
I don't feel beautiful because I don't feel healthy. I am afraid of food in a sense, because I don't know where to stop. I don't understand what a healthy serving size is or how to make healthy meals for myself. I use too much oil when I cook, like butter and fatty oils. I use a lot of cheese in anything I cook too! It makes it better of course, but it doesn't help me in reaching my goals.
I've been trying to work out more too, but it's not always pracitical. I'm going to Curves with Bailey just about everyday and I enjoy spending the time with her, but I don't always feel as if it is enough. I went to the local rec centre last week and did an hour of cardio and then went for a swim in the pool and I felt pretty good, but I haven't been able to make it there for a while.