Saturday, January 14, 2012

New Starting Point

Every time I say I'm going to come back and doesn't happen. I don't want to delete this blog, it was a huge part of my life at one point, but I just can't get jazzed for it anymore. So I created a new blog in hopes of relighting my passion. I love writing but I have this block that I'm working through right now. Maybe I'll come back to this one, one day, but until then please check out my new blog (which my boyfriend says he's going to keep bugging me about) for the latest updates and all that! The Second Time...Again, the new frontier!

Friday, August 26, 2011

Is this thing still on?

Hellloooooooooooo......? Is there anyone out there...out there...out there...?

For the past 6 months I've been telling myself that I'm going to get back to this. There must be so many new faces and stories out there and I want to catch up on everything! It been a year, less a week, since I've blogged but I really think that this is the turn around I need right now. I need to start feeling all-around good right about now.

So here is the run down of the last 12 months of my life: I started dating again. Like, really dating, and it's got me to a place that I am very comfortable with myself but almost too comfortable. Until 2 days ago, I hadn't been to the gym in probably 5 months. I fell out of the habit and it has been so difficult to get back into the habit because I'm never home. I'm always out doing things with other people. Going for dinners and drinks and desserts, lounging on the couch for hours on end watching videos that I don't care too much about. And eating. Did I mention eating? I'm no longer working out with a personal trainer (note the "haven't been to the gym in 5 months"). Nathan, unfortunately quit Fitness World so I don't get to work out with him anymore but I still talk to him occasionally over Facebook. I'm working in retail, managing a kiosk in BC's largest shopping mall and if it weren't for the people who ask me for directions all day, I would love it. I do love my job, I've just lost the patience to deal with people who are incapable of using their own devices to answer their own questions. But I love what I do.

That is pretty much the extent of the last year for me. Nothing too much has happened, and I am sorry to say that I haven't stuck with my goals this time. I feel like a very, very, warped and broken record for saying that this time....I'm going to try harder. I'm going to stick with it. I want to develop a support system and be accountable for my life choices. I miss the honesty and the vulnerability I felt when writing this blog and it is something that I would very much like to get back again.

The next few days are going to be spent revamping this blog to give it a fresh and new feel, but still have the old coziness of dear friends and wordless support from all of you! So stay tuned, buckle up, and feel free to harass me when I don't post enough! I can't wait to check in with everyone to see their progress!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


Remember those size 16 "The Flirt" jeans that I bought from Old Navy??!! Well....

They fit now! It may have something to do with the fact that I haven't eaten anything proper since Friday night as a result of my tongue piercings, but I have been eating fruit smoothies with protein powder to keep myself nourished (and soft banana bread...mmmmmm). Needless to say that I am over the moon at this news and I hit my goal way ahead of schedule as I had originally planned to get into these jeans by September 18th! I love being almost 3 weeks ahead!

I had announced this as an unofficial challenge to all of you, so how are you coming along? Have you tried them on since we last talked about it? Are you closer to fitting into them than you were? Let me know how it's going for you!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Back from the Dead!

Not me, my internet modem. It decided that I play too much World of Warcraft and read too many blogs so it crapped out on me. I can't talk long, I'm at work, but I thought that I would let you all know that I am alive and well. Weight is at a stand still and I feel all bloaty (TOM today...yay...). Eating could be a lot better for me but I am working on it.

In other news, I had my tongue pierced last night! I got my venoms done:

Not me, but I figured not everyone would know what I meant by "venoms"

It hurt so freaking bad!! It takes the cake as my most painful piercing, hands down. Today, ice chips and Advil are my best friends. I sound like an idiot too so I'm trying not to talk to too many people!

Take it easy everyone, I'll check in again soon!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

It's all in the Jeans

So, a couple of you may remember a post I made several months ago about my favorite pair of jeans. They were a gray, size 18, "Sweetheart" cut from Old Navy that I bought last September before school started and over the course of the following months, the months I refer to as my "yoga pant phase" in which I exclusively wore yoga/exercise stretchy pants (even though there was no exercise going on), I managed to put on 10-20 pounds without even being aware of doing so. One day I put on these Sweetheart jeans and they no longer fit. To say the least, I was devastated but once I started losing weight again, I pulled them out of the closet and they fit. I was so happy I balled like a child. They didn't fit perfectly and I had some muffin top going on, but I could do them up. Previously, there was a good 3-5 inch gap and even laying back on my bed, they would not even budge over my mondo hips.

The picture of the momentous occasion
I got a new pair of jeans recently , size 18, in a dark wash called "The Flirt" from Old Navy again (I really love Old Navy jeans, they are the only kind that I don't wear holes in the inner thigh) and I really love them, but the waist was too big when I bought them and the thighs had a bit of room to them, but I loved the cut and the colour and they were super comfy so I bought them anyways. Now, after I wear them a while, they  stretch out like jeans do and if I were not wearing a belt, they would slide right down my butt!

I went out today and bought a new pair of jeans in the same colour and same style, except in a 16. I tried them on in the dressing room and...hold your breath...

They didn't fit. BUT they didn't fit by only about an inch to two inches and they were comfortable through the leg and thigh, they were just a bit small in the waist. And I bought them. I know that they WILL fit me soon. My eating has been way better than it was a few weeks ago and I am fitting in my workouts better, too!

I am making a goal for myself, and goals are something that I rarely set, let alone give a time line too, but here we go. I'm announcing it to the world and you can help keep me accountable! My goal is to have these jeans fit me by September 18 2010. I'm going to hang these jeans up on my closet door where I can see them everyday and try them on occasionally to keep track of my progress.

What am I going to do to reach my goal?
  • No junk food in the house! As long as I don't see it, I don't want it but it's difficult because there are 4 other people in my house to bring it in! But I won't go looking for it.
  • I will regulate my sleep schedule by deciding on a bed time and setting an alarm for the morning. I wanted to go to a spin class this morning before work but because I was up too late last night, I slept in and missed it!
  • I will give it my all in my workouts with Nathan and push myself in cardio!
  • And finally, the holy grail of weight loss success: I will track my food intake. I've been really really bad about this for the past...2 months. I was in the habit and then I just fell out of it, but tonight I'm going to buy myself a brand-spanking-new food journal and hopefully it will encourage me to keep better track.
I'm opening it up to you all, an unofficial jean challenge. Do you have a pair of jeans sitting in your closet that you are dying to get into again? Are you between sizes and really want to to get down into the size you want? Try them on, see how far you have to go (but don't forget how far you've already come!) and take a picture. God knows, it may not be pretty right now but use it as a reference. If you do, leave me a comment and let me know about it! I want to know how it goes for you!

Much love~

PS: Today I even bought skinny jeans. Like, really cute, black, tight skinny jeans. Again, very comfortable, I bought them in an 18 because they are super low rise and they would sit at a wider area of my hips and I'm sure they are more cotton/spandex than denim and they will probably shrink when I wash them! Another monumental occasion!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Today is kind of like my Friday...

Today is my fifth straight day at work, woe is me! I'm kidding, I love my job, but I am looking forward to having a day off. My plan for this morning was to go to spin class at 9:30am but....I ended up sleeping until 11:30. Needless to say, spin class was finished by then. I've been to a few different classes taught by a couple different trainers and I'm really enjoying it. My mom has been to a few with me but I know she's not crazy about them so I don't know how much longer she is going to continue with them.

Well, I went a whole 6 sentences without talking about my trainer Nathan, who I have a crazy crush on (I totally had a dream about him last night but I'm taking the details of it with me to the grave). So, continuing my story from Wednesday, we talked to his manager and got everything squared away. It wasn't actually as big of a deal as I thought it was going to be. I really thought that I was going to have to haggle my heart out and complain but nothing of the sort happened. I get to continue paying my original rate for the next chunk of sessions I bought, but if I buy more again after, I'm going to have to pay the higher rate. I can deal with that. When I was talking to Nathan, he told me that he saw his old manager Mark, the guy that tried to convince me to find a new trainer at my home gym, when he was with a client at my gym and he considered saying something to him along the lines of "I really don't appreciate how you're trying to steal my clients" but he thought better of it, and I'm glad. There is no sense causing drama over such a little thing and he should know that as long as he is a person trainer (and I can afford it), I'll stick with him. He also said that Mark reminds him of a "used car salesman" which totally makes sense to me, and it was that kind of feeling I was getting from him over the phone.

My eating has been getting (mostly) on track the last week and a bit. I was struggling with certain crunchy, salty snacks late at night but I am mastering my impulses and exercising control. Back to chicken and salad for me! Because I am working at the largest mall in British Columbia, it is so convenient to buy dinner at the food court before work. I thought that I was being really good because I was going to Quizno's, which I WRONGLY ASSUMED was on par with Subway. The sandwich was great, of course, but after a few days I thought that I would check online to see the nutrition page and give myself further praise for being a good girl and not going next door to New York Fries. Well, I was in for quite a shock. A medium veggie sandwich was 750 CALORIES!! My jaw hit the floor. I couldn't believe it and I just couldn't figure out where all the calories were coming from! Well, they were from the cheese, the sause and the bread. A whopping 750 calories. I guess I'm going to have to start packing my dinner instead!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Another week, another weigh in

Wednesday weigh in day! Here we go:

Last week: 224.8 lbs
This week: 222.1 lbs
Difference: -2.7 lbs
Activity Mins: 240 mins (240 quality mins)

Body fat last week: 39.9%
Body fat this week: 39.7%
Difference: -0.2%

Overall, not a bad week. I'm still recovering from getting home from vacation and getting back into the swing of things. I started going to a spin class at my gym and I went twice last week. I really enjoyed it, more than I though I would. I worked up a good sweat and pushed my limits.

It was my birthday yesterday and I was really depressed all day. I don't like thinking about how I'm getting older for a few reasons. I was in an alright mood in the morning and then I went and worked out with my trainer Nathan in the early afternoon, and I really enjoyed seeing him. The new gym that he is working at is HUGE. The women's change room is as big as the weight room at my gym! It's a really nice, new gym, but the layout is a little strange. Anyways, I did my work out with him but at the end of it, he told me that there was some kind of change happening with the prices for personal training. He had told me this before when we were at my gym before he was transferred but he said that he would continue to do it for the price that I was originally paying. Well I think that his new manager has an issue with that, but Nathan and I are going to have a meeting with his manager on Thursday to discuss the prices and stuff and figure out what is going to work. Again, I was in an alright mood until I got home and told my mom about all this and we ended up having an argument about money and then my grandmother, who lives with us, told me that she doesn't want me driving her car to work any more for no other reason than "because". If she had given me a proper reason, I would have been fine with it, but her "because I said so" just grates on my nerves.

To make the training thing even more of an issue, my dad has started working with a rehabilitation trainer to work on his back and his knees at my gym. Well, without knowing the whole story about what is happening with Nathan and I, my dad mentioned to his trainer that he was worried that this new manager at Nathan's new gym was trying to take advantage of me and was going to get me to pay more, and that Nathan was involved in this and had told me that I HAD to follow him to his new gym. Well, his trainer, Sarah, told her manager, who called me and said that if I wanted to find a new trainer at my original gym, that he would set up as many free consultations I needed in order to find a new trainer AND he would honor my old rate, regardless of which trainer I chose in the end. He even offered to train me himself, and I think his rate is twice what I was paying with Nathan. The whole conversation felt off to me and I got a really strange vibe from him. I felt like he was trying to manipulate me and play up my dad's confusion over the situation by telling me that my dad was "really concerned" about me travelling out of my way to stay with Nathan. I pretty much just wanted out of this conversation because I don't totally know what is happening with Nathan in regards to pricing, that is what the meeting with his new manager tomorrow is going to establish as I have to purchase more sessions next week if I want to continue working with a trainer. I sent Nathan a text message to tell him what was happening because I assumed that he would want to know that his old boss was trying to get me back at Delta with a new trainer.

Me: Your old boss called me about finding a different trainer with them in Delta. I thought it was odd and that you might want to know.
Nathan: Alright thanks.
**Here I'm assuming he called his old manager because I got this next a few minutes later**
Nathan: Apparently is was just to make sure you knew that was an option and that I wasn't forcing you to come [to Langely]
Me: Yeah he said that, my dad mentioned to Sarah that "Lanley jacked up the prices on me" but my dad didn't know the whole story.
Nathan: Weird. You know that isn't the case though.
Me: Yeah I know. I told Mark, you and I were talking to your manager Thursday. Today has been a f*cking gong show since I got home.
Nathan: Lol crazy.
Me: Ergh, not in a good way :S
Nathan: No it doesn't sound that way. Lol sorry for the confusion.
Me: No worries, it's not your fault.
Nathan: Everything is always my fault, ask my woman.
Me: Ha, well if you're so keen to take the dad just practically stuck his foot in his mouth.
Nathan: Lol
Me: But I told [your old manager] that I didn't know the full details about pricing and I would find out Thursday, & if I changed my mind I'd let him know.
Nathan: Alright, either way we'll get you set up Thursday.
Me: Sounds good, but just so you know, I'm not likely to change my mind. The drive wasn't too bad :P
Nathan: I'm not worried.

Do I realise that I may not be staying with Nathan for the right reasons? Absolutely, but does that mean that Nathan is not a good trainer? We work well together and he knows me and how I work out. He knows that I'm going to bitch and complain, but in the end, I'll do it, and he knows how to push me. But at the same time, he understands my limits and what I can accomplish. At least now that I know how keen the Delta club is to have me back, I can use that when I talk to the Langley manager when we talk prices.